iPhone or Royal Enfield GT — Deal or No Deal!

It was not very long ago. Just last year.

My son was in Class 10.

It was peak exam time.

I was supporting him in one of his subjects. 

One morning, 

with a lot of enthusiasm and expectation, I asked him:

“Will you excel in the Class 10 exams?”

His immediate response:

“Fine. Tell me what do I get if I excel?”

“An iPhone.”

He thought for a moment.

and added or 

“Can you promise me a Royal Enfield GT bike when I cross 18?”

“Deal!” or "No Deal!"

I was shocked.

I went silent.

That wasn't what I had expected when I asked him that question.

I started wondering:

How did we get here?

Why did my son immediately turn the topic of "excellence" into a deal or no deal?

I have always been more interested in what sits behind a behaviour than the behaviour itself.

So I didn't want to simply dismiss his response as,

“He wants an expensive phone or a bike.”

I continued to think about it.

Then, it made me wonder about:

When does a child begin to see "doing well" in studies as a licence "to get something"?

And then I started looking back.

Perhaps we begin much earlier than we realise.

A kindergarten teacher might say:

“Come on children, finish this rhyme and I'll give you a chocolate!”

At home, we casually say:

“Come first in the class this time and I'll get you that cycle.”

Nothing unusual.

Nothing meant in a harm way.

In fact, most of us probably have done this at some point.

But then I wondered:

What happens when these little tactics keep getting repeated?

Does the child slowly begin to associate achievement with reward?

Does 

“I want to learn this” slowly become “What do I get if I do this?”

And more bothering version could be:

I will do this, only if i get that!

And if that happens, what happens to the things like:

The curiosity.

The joy of figuring something out.

The satisfaction of finally understanding something that was difficult.

Even to the simple feeling of:

“I want to know this.”

Perhaps that is the question I am left with.

If a child grows up seeing studying and learning mainly as a means to get something...

Will they still get a chance to discover the beauty of Maths, Science, Language or History simply for what it is?

I don't know.

But that conversation about an iPhone and a Royal Enfield GT has stayed with me.

And it made me wonder.

Do we teach our children to learn because the can get something!

Or we teach our children to learn because that is the way to live!

What do you think, How do you see 'learning' as?